A thought from the trainer whose help you desperately need.
You’re at your wits end, I get it. I sympathise. I want to help, but the honest truth is we may be talking too little too late.
Still reading? Thank you, I know this isn’t exactly the easiest subject. There are a few issues I have with being someone’s last hope so let’s break it down.
Human state of mind massively affects the training process. Doesn’t being down to your final straw mean you’re at your wits end? I don’t know about you but the end of my tether is my least productive place to be. Patience is thin, motivation is low and resilience is non-existent. This is not a recipe for success.
While we’re talking about recipes for success, let’s talk about how long training processes can take. I moved house in January 2022, in February 2022 we realised Skeeter (the four-legged love of my life) was having separation issues and couldn’t cope alone in the new house. We started a training plan straight away (we had lots of support from our trainer.) For 7 weeks, the plan didn’t involve me even leaving the house. By May 2022, I could leave him alone for long enough to nip, let’s be honest I legged it, to the corner shop. By June, I managed to leave him for long enough to go out for a meal, no starters or dessert! As I’m writing this in November, we still have a routine that must be stuck to when he’s left alone. It took 5 months to be able to do something as normal as grabbing a loaf without my dog in my car. For 6 months, every inch of my life was meticulously planned around Skeeter never being left at home alone. Could that plan have been rushed? Absolutely not, I tried and I broke it.
I’m lucky, I have a job that means Skeeter can be with me (or in sight in my car) throughout the day. I’ve also got friends and family who stepped in to care for him so I could go out without upsetting the training plan.
My point here is that there is no way at all I could’ve sped that process up whilst carrying on with every other element of my life. For 6 months I had to hold my hands up to the situation we were in, leaving lots of pressure on me and my other half.
Did I wait til I was down to my final straw before I held my hands up? By then, it would have been too late! I’d have done even more damage.
There are no quick fixes, don’t believe everything you see on social media! The quick fixes mask the truth and leave underlying emotional issues without addressing the root cause. We don’t do that here.
With a training process comes a pressure to get it right, this goes for your trainer as well as you. We feel it. Your wins, losses, the good days and the bad. We feel it. So, when you come to us as your last hope and tell us “If you can’t fix this, I’m going to have to give my dog up” we feel it.
Now speaking brutally, blaming me as your trainer for you having to give your dog up is not okay. You’ve taken on a living being, for whatever reason that hasn’t gone to plan, you’ve left it until you’re almost beyond repair and then you’re passing the blame. I’m not here for that.
I don’t mean to sound unhelpful or unsupportive. I do understand how big an impact a problem with your dog can have on your life and being able to contact a trainer or behaviourist and have an honest conversation about that impact is so important. But the emotion matters. It’s no good for any of us to be down to our last nerve.
Is it avoidable? 100%
You need to acknowledge the responsibility you’ve taken on.
Be proactive – not reactive.
Proactive sees the trouble brewing and nips it in the bud.
Reactive loses their temper.
Proactive sees a bad habit forming and considers what a better habit would be.
Reactive only knows what they don’t want.
Proactive sees solutions where reactive only sees problems.
To the people with fading patience, ask yourself how long you’ve got left and reach out now while you’ve got some bandwidth left. Help is there – but we need you in a sound emotional state too.
Positively Peaches 
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